Err America: A-Rod On The Airwaves

by Bryan Joiner

Now that Howard Stern has moved to Sirius, Alex Rodriguez, with his Newtonian fall to earth this summer, is the king of terrestrial radio.

Over on WFAN, tallying each A-Rod error and 0-for-4 has become the stations cause celebre. It’s Err America, and Mike and the Mad Dog are leading the charge.

It is remarkable that Mike Francesa and/or Chris Russo are able to facilitate the same A-Rod discussion every day for five and a half hours, but they do. What’s more, they seem to like it. The topic is inexhaustible and self-perpetuating. Every missed at-bat is a crime against New York; every successful at-bat is at the wrong time. It’s only July, after all! He can’t do it in the World Series!

It gotten so bad that two weeks ago, Rudy from the Upper East Side – a former New York City mayor, or so he claimed – called to defend the $25 million man.

This summer saga, the juiciest since the Son of Sam, has featured such incredible highlights as A-Rod’s error-filled series against the Blue Jays, complete with back-page blowup shots of him sunbathing shirtless with his wife and kids in Central Park on a game day, prompting some silly scribes to opine that the family frolicking hurt his gameplay.

Amid the craziness, Russo and Francesa have gone airborne at 1 pm daily for the Mad Dog’s prompt “[Good] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafternoon everybody!”

They dive right in like the kids at the nearby Astoria pool (where A-Rod has not sunbathed, to my knowledge), with something along these lines:

Mad Dog: Another terrible night for A-Rod, striking out with the bases loaded in the seventh inning. He can’t do anything up there, and he’s throwing the ball away! Right now, he’s a nightmare for the Yankees. An absolute nightmare.

Mike: He’s a nightmare, Dog.

Mad Dog: He’s terrible! At the same time, you can’t trade the guy! No one wants his contract, first of all, but why would you want to trade him? He’s one of the best players of all time! The Yankees just have to wait this one out, but it’s terrible to watch, Mikey, just terrible.

Mike: He is, Dog, but they can’t trade him. He’s not a great player, he’s an immortal player. He is an immortal player, Dog. They can’t trade him. They can’t.

Mad Dog: Can’t trade him, Mikey!

And then they’d field phone calls of A-Rod trades for three hours.

Now the trade deadline has come and gone, so too will the trade offers, but A-Rod’s not going anywhere. Ever. Yankees fans better get used to this, and soon. There’s only so much sunbathing time left.

Francesa’s right. Rodriguez hit 450 home runs faster than any Major League Baseball player in history, and it will be the same story at 500, 550, 600, all the way through 800, when he becomes the first player to hit that many. George Steinbrenner’s not passing on that. He knows his constituents better then they know themselves.

Yankees fans will argue that A-Rod is not a Yankee, deferring the dubious honors to Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams and Mariano Rivera. The truth is, as the highest paid player in the game, not to mention the most media savvy, A-Rod is as New York as it gets. He was even born here.

Yankees fans know this already, but they’re fighting it. New Yorkers don’t waste their breath on the ones they hate – they shout merely to mold the ones they love. That’s why Air America, with its constant criticisms of our Clown-in-Chief, is in the red, and Err America is a ratings king. It’s silly and wonderful, and A-Rod is smart enough to know that this will pass if he wins a World Series.

Until then, let’s get Sirius.

(Photo of Alex Rodriguez from flickr.)

Comments

[TC@LeatherPenguin]

"This summer saga, the juiciest since the Son of Sam, ...."

Jeez, what are you, twelve?

[BAG]

I had the unfortunate mishap of perusing your blog, Mr. Leather Penguin. If your concern is juvenile prose, methinks you need to look in the mirror. No, using the term "faggot assed" does not distinguish you as a particulry original or relevant internet correspondent.

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