'Tis the Weeks Before Cashmas

by Peter Eichenberger

“Only through the birth of Jesus was man forgiven,” the card read. On the reverse, a fir tree, pagan image of life everlasting and Coca Cola spokes model, Satan Claus.

December 25? The Solstice is a proper sort of religious Gumbo on par with Chanukah, Saturnalia, Solstice, Long Night, yadida. A fave is Lenanea, where Dionysus is torn to shreds and eaten by a pack of women. But Christmas? It’s purely a fabrication.

Nevertheless, it’s safe to say neither birfday boy nor our Deist forefathers would care much for our blood-and-toxin-wrought Christmas, US-style, courtesy of Milton Friedman (stamp on the devil), Christianity, WalMart and you out there. The WalMaliday ™ proves the superiority of our system.

Massive outsourcing of resources and manufacturing capability have let to the fulfillment of God’s Promise of abundance. Cheap goods keep inflation (aka currency devaluation) at bay, fill our landfills, and have established our dominion of the earth.

Religion? Glad I never got sucked into that poo. Needles and Guzzis worked fine for a while. Basically the same shit.

In God we trust, all others, cash.

Individual responsibility has been translated into the emergence of the corporate, Zionist/Evangelical transnational planet. Let the free-market do its work. Ignite an unwinnable two trillion dollar neo-crusade for the arms industry, allow scoundrels like Enron to get to run off with what was left of your nation, and screw everybody else. Spiders have sucked responsibility dry and left it twisting in the wind.

What would Jesus do with this greed-soaked fraud? He and his Essene posse didn’t just overturn the money tables in the temple. He busted out a bullhide strap and whupped their asses. They considered working solely for money slavery. Mind you, all on the scene were Jews. Jerry Falwell would call the dude a terrorist.

The 1100 version of Halliburton, the Knights Templar. Made their dough off arms, war, and banking even though Christianity forbade a pork eater from charging usury, i.e. interest. “We’ll make the Jews do it! Perfect! Scary white “Christian” guys run the show make the Jews handle the cash. Ordinary religious Jews get blamed for messing everything up and pay with their lives forever.

US Treasury Bonds are the ultimate times ten, times ten, times ten—lying about how much gold a bank has to lend. There ain’t no gold, just snot rags backed only by “the full faith and credit” of the US, which ain’t lookin’ so good. The dark comedy, pure irony, is that even Wall Street is chasing nothing that the US Treasury and the Federal Reserve can just Kuhchunkity, chunkity, chunkity, print more of—that is, to a point. It’s called Ponzi scheme for next year.

Watch the scuffling between the Poppy’s old Whiskypalean Anglo-American elites and W.’s faux-evangelical-Christian-cum-Israel-End-of-the-World-Thing. Just like your Luceesse and Genovese, it’s all about the money, Halleluiah!

(Originally published 11/30/06. Bad Santa from grebo guru's flickr.)

Comments

[Mary]

Peter.....if you don't comprehend the universal meaning of Christmas and all that it holds, you're not likely to understand much of anything else.

[Peter eichenberger]

Dear Mary: You must be my ex wife, right? I understand the "universal meaning of triple X mass, money money money! But whatever you say. I guess you are correct. Guess I'll jump off a bridge now.

Happy Saturnalia

[Peter Eichenberger]

Typo, you are are truly pafetic. Either you are in possession of congnitive powers of a Maltese dog or you simply are unable to read.

I was suggesting you kill yourself, not the other way around. Me? I am happy as a pig in shit. Smart as a whip as well. You wanna drag something of substance into this, feel free. Can't run with the big dogs, keep your ass on the porch.

[Peter Eichenberger]

Typo, you are are truly pafetic. Either you are in possession of congnitive powers of a Maltese dog or you simply are unable to read.

I was suggesting you kill yourself, not the other way around. Me? I am happy as a pig in shit. Smart as a whip as well. You wanna drag something of substance into this, feel free. Can't run with the big dogs, keep your ass on the porch.

[typo]

peter, do each of the voices in your heads count as separate people? Apparently the dominate wingnut overwhelmes the rest because he/she makes you think it is an original thought. Maybe you could get someone to edit your posts, to save space (it must be crowded there), use the same person who wipes your drool.

[Typo]

Hey typo. Why'nt you ask my editor and save us the trouble? I get paid to write.
You remind me of the kid told that jacking off will make him blind.
"Can't I just do it till I need glasses."
You are a mud puddle in the road of life, dork.

[typo]

You could double your money peter by mixing this drivel with your drool. Kinda like adding soybeans to soybeans...and to think you have found someone to pay for this. the mind reels.

[Peter Eichenberger]

Hey goober, to you, lucky for you those nice folks at ARPA (and Al Gore) invented the Internet. You get to open yourself to abuse for free! Saves you money on shrink visits and dominatrix fees. Now you get to delude yourself that someone besides you mama pays attention to your baaaa-baaaaa. As I said, I haven't the time for this patty cake poop. If you don't have anything of substance to write, you are on your own. I have only heard you pathetic attempts at "insults." Please. I grew up in a family of five boys and went to school here in the US.

[Typo]

"...........Religion? Glad I never got sucked into that poo. Needles and Guzzis worked fine for a while. Basically the same shit"........seeing your 3rd article lets me see your whole spectrum, which is "basically the same shit". Take your attitude & life savings, buy some drugs, and wake up mid March under some cardboard and newspapers.

[peter eichenberger]

Jesus, you again. Don't you get it ding-dong? I've already done that. Years ago. Screwed all the women, wrecked all the bikes and shot all the dope. I made a real mess and broke bones along the way, mine, others in the process. Now I living for the world. Whyn't you try it and not be so negative. You are dealing with a retired pro, forget it.
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