No Money, No Xenu

by Elizabeth Keenan

For an organization as elusive as the Church of Scientology, walking to the main headquarters in Manhattan is as easy as walking to McDonalds. With an appetite for “Living a Better and Happier Life” and the financial means, you will be welcomed with open arms. Leaving with the knowledge of how you actually achieve promised happiness, and with your wallet (and sense of reality) in tact, is another thing entirely.

Inquirer editor Cat Spencer and I embarked on our undercover pilgrimage on what we thought a most appropriate day for our mission, the wedding of Scientology’s most famous Operating Thetan, Tom Cruise, and Katie Holmes. As we confirmed our cover stories, fake names and our most important pact of the day—not to get separated from each other—we admitted our mutual nervousness. Secure in our self-awareness and non-susceptibility to cults, would we find ourselves brainwashed anyway? After all, our mission was to find out how the seemingly powerful “religion,” in spite of decades of bad publicity, had gained an alleged 10-million-member following. Perhaps curiosity alone was the vulnerability necessary for new recruits.

The inside of the Church is ultra-modern and expansive with Dianetics products on every available table. The feeling inside was like that of a megastore, with uniformed worker bees buzzing about, grabbing anyone who walks through the doors to make their sales pitch. We descended a staircase that led into a lobby surrounding a fish bowl library-cum-conference room, where a middle-aged man was sitting on a chair, eyes closed, his feet on a box. Someone official was sitting across from him, talking slowly.

A disconcertingly perky woman, about our age, immediately approached. I asked what was being done to the man, and she explained with a knowing smile, “he’s becoming clear.” To me, he looked pained and far away.

The perky woman would be our main guide for the day. She had a look that I later realized was characteristic of other Scientology disciples: a disquieting emptiness and halcyon smile. With an obvious air of hopeful desperation for new recruits, she fired questions without waiting for answers, acting as if we’d entered the party of the year. I looked around for the keg. No dice.

They offered a to show us their orientation video. On the way to the screening room were little rooms along a hallway with people filling out questionnaires and being interviewed. Others were writing checks. Who were these people? They looked like tourists who’d mistaken the church for Madame Tussauds wax museum. We were led into a dark room with theater seats and, out of my peripheral vision, I noticed our guide shadowing the door from the outside once we were shut-in.

Images of weary looking people flashed across the screen. An ominous voice questioned if we ever felt stress, anxiety, unwanted pressure or depression. (Well, yeah, but only when I’m awake.) The narrator explained that the cause to all of our problems was the “reactive mind” which is controlled by “engrams” or painful experiences that had happened to us consciously or subconsciously throughout our lives. These traumas control the weary, unhappy and listless, causing addiction, violence and depression. They also contribute to the “problems of mankind": crime, terrorism and war. These revelations were accompanied by images of reenacted traumas; a couple breaking-up, a car accident, someone slugging a bottle of booze. We suppressed our laughter, suspecting we were being watched.

The music turned upbeat and the iconic volcano erupted on-screen. Apparently the answer to all of the world’s problems is to cleanse ourselves of engrams, reversing the reactive mind and becoming “clear.” Super. How does one become clear? Dianetics, of course. Finally, they were going to explain the science or logistics of Dianetics. Wrong. Testimonials of glassy eyed Scientologist actors extolling that “Dianetics is life changing” in every possible iteration ensued. Any actual explanation of what the program actually entailed was noticeably absent. And where were the aliens? They couldn’t get Cruise or Travolta to make a cameo? I was unimpressed, and far from brainwashed.

After the film, we told our chipper guide that we needed to use the bathroom. We were not directed but escorted to the third level. There would be no Veronica Mars-style investigating, as I’d hoped there would be. Lining the staircase were posters with messages like, “Psychiatry Kills.” Our guide waited outside the restroom while my comrade and I exchanged non-verbal “What the fuck?” glances. What had we gotten ourselves into? Before we were directed back downstairs to the pit, we asked about the large theater doors guarded by a bored-looking security guard. Our guide, eager to please, attempted to give us a “peek,” but was stopped by the guard who commanded that no one was allowed inside. I tried to catch a glimpse of a hi-def TomKat wedding feed inside the theater before we were whisked away.

Once back downstairs we were asked to fill out numerous forms with our personal information while our escort commiserated with some of her colleagues. She came over with two copies of Dianetics. “This will change you life.”

“How?” we asked.

“It is life altering.”

“But what does it do?” We asked.

“It changes your life. Read this.”

She flipped to the back of the book and told me to read the testimonials. More life changing, altering praise for Dianetics. I conceded and bought a copy; after all, I should read the book before fully forming my opinion, right? Our guide smiled enthusiastically and told us there were over a million copies in print.

Then we asked the $1 million question.

“What is the e-meter?” we inquired. Her eyes lit up. “I’ll give you a stress test!” she said.

I’d seen the stress testing in the major subway stations and while I was curious, I had never taken the time to stop. I was more concerned that someone I knew would see me than what the testers might tell me. I was taken aside while someone else came to speak with my partner in crime. Damn, they had succeeded in separating us. I was handed metal cylinders attached to wires, which affixed to a ridiculous looking machine that didn’t appear to be plugged into anything. “How does it work?” I asked.

“It measures your stress levels based on your answers.” My guide looked unprepared to elaborate any further.

She proceeded to ask me questions about what things in my life where stressing me the most. I spun a yarn of an overbearing boyfriend and an unappreciative job, a lack of direction and general sense of unhappiness. Her eyes widened as the needle on the machine jumped around.

“Wow, you are REALLY stressed. It’s good you came today.”

Then she asked me to think about all of the things that were bringing me down. I thought of all of my favorite things. The needle moved again.

“You really need the kit.”

Next came the hard sell. She put a box on her lap and opened the lid, revealing yet another copy of Dianetics, the large print edition. Under that was a DVD of Dianetics that suspiciously looked like the video we’d been shown already. Under that, was a series of “LRH’s”—L. Ron Hubbard's—lectures. I asked what the lectures were, and she told me they were “life altering.” Of course they were. For only $150, I could leave with this box and get that much closer to being “clear.”

I leveled with my friendly guide. I told her that I was having money problems and the $9.00 paperback was really all I could afford. Her eyes darkened a bit and she looked around the room for assistance.

I asked her about the aliens. She stammered. “That isn’t what Scientology is about.” What about Xenu? I asked. She blinked at me. I could tell I was losing her. I asked her how she got into Scientology. She told me her parents were involved since before she was born. She’d been interested but didn’t get involved until her mom had died and totally bereaved, she read Dianetics and found that all of her grief dispelled immediately. I stared, disbelieving. “Really?”

“It changed my life. I wasn’t unhappy anymore.”

Cat emerged from a side room with a senior looking male guide. I watched as she was led to the e-meter and pitched the box, and a series of other costly products. I was told I could wait on a bench, which felt a little too much like “time-out”. Another recruiter was sent over to tell me about an exciting opportunity for seminars taking place. “If you sign up now, you can start as soon as this week.” How much? $150 per session. I explained my financial situation and she continued to push the seminars as “life changing” undeterred.

“I can barely pay my rent.”

She left me to flip through my book, clearly discouraged, but not without handing me a last ditch effort—a pink personality test to fill out and drop-off if I wanted to explore my “mind's full potential.” Now why would I want to do that? Take a guess. “It will change you life.”

As I waited for Cat, I watched people trickling into the church and become absorbed by one of the waiting recruiters. All of them were pitched products to “change their lives” without any explanation of what the program actually did to enact any kind of change. Shockingly, people opened their wallets without hesitation.

Cat joined me on the bench and our perky guide excitedly told her they’d be in touch. She smiled and shook our hands and told us for the umpteenth time that we seemed like “really good people.” We exited through the doors, our copies of Dianetics tucked under our arms.

As soon as we were outside I felt clear on many things. I’d been rejected by the Scientologists, something I was ecstatic about.

The Church of Scientology was not at all a church, not all were welcome.

Without the means to purchase the endless LRH endorsed products, the secrets to living a “happier” and “better” life were not available.

To answer the question posed by Dianetics, “What blocks me from using my minds full potential?” For starters, it's a willingness to empty my bank account before knowing what I’m getting in return.

Comments

[marco]

I was laughing nearly the whole time i was reading this article, i still can't believe that scientology is still accepted as a church in the states.

Greetings from europe
marco

[Frank Smith]

Interesting story. They don't have millions of followers by the way. Fifty thousand seems more like it.

[Lisa]

Most of the people in Scn have never heard of Xenu, as that story is part of the secret OT levels. Those that have done them in the organization have signed non-disclosure agreements. So you will get denial from them.
A better line of questioning is "how are church leaders selected? To whom are they accountable? What happens to all the money?"

[Chuck Beatty]

Great observations. I was lured into Scientology in 1975, I stayed until 2003, spent 27 years in their "religious order" called the "Sea Org." Spent my final almost 7 years in the minimum security prison/mind bending "Rehabilitation Project Force" (RPF).
You did good! Very interesting observations that walking into a church does not gain one more than a dissemination pitch, and that their fixed prices/donations are required first, before you get into their class rooms and counseling ("spiritual counseling") rooms for their life-changing knowledge and procedures. In Scientology we used to call this "out-sequence" when something was done back to front. I never noticed it, but your basic conclusion is correct. You pay, and then you get the supposed life changing spiritual goodies from Scientology. At least they have a refund policy if you ask for a refund within 3 months.
Chuck Beatty
ex Scientologist (1975-2003)
Pittsburgh

[Artoo45]

Great article. With so many reporters entering Co$ undercover, they must suspect everyone nowdays.

I do have to say though, you really missed the boat by not buying a copy of LRH's masterpiece of unintentional hilarity "A History of Man". If anyone can read this massivly stupid "scientific" book and still say "hey, where do I sign up" then they get exactly what they deserve.

As for the person from the Buffalo "org" who was so sorry you got a "hard sell", ask them about Jeremy Perkins and how $cientology helped him with his mental illness.

[Jeanne]

On the first page of Google news today: Iran wants nuclear program, inquiry into blast in Pakistan, Bush pushing his Iraq war, the need for effective peace talks between Israel and Palestine, suicide bomber strikes funeral in Baghdad killing 7. I'm a Scientologist. I object to the world as it is and think we need to do something about it. If people were to work together to tackle these really important issues maybe Google news would contain something positive. But instead, here's a story ridiculing people who are trying to help people. Go figure.

[Arnie Lerma]

I run a website funded by ex-scientologists (and members of the public who percieve the need to do so)which is for scientologists, to help them escape from the tar lined black box of lies, crafted by the KING of CON men L Ron Hubbard.

Use the search engine, to sort through over 4000 files about Scientology and the lesson of mental manipulation, I gained from my ten years involvement in it.

Scientologists say:

"What is true for you is true for you"

Arnie Lerma says:

That is true ONLY WHEN IN A TRANCE

regards
Arnie Lerma
Lermanet.com Exposing the CON
WE COME BACK
for our friends and family
to get them OUT of scientology
while they still have their lives

[Raymond Hill]

Thanks for this article.

Dear Wax-Q, here are some interesting quotes from Scientology's founder L. Ron Hubbard, which I think are appropriate for the context:

«MAKE MONEY. MAKE MORE MONEY. MAKE OTHER PEOPLE PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MORE MONEY.» — L. Ron Hubbard, HCOPL of 9 March 1972

«... the solution is to charge whatever the traffic will bear ...» — L. Ron Hubbard, HCOPL of 11 November 1969, "PROMOTION AND MOTIVATION"

«It will be found that those who will pay more were the most able to begin with and have the greatest value to others. Their worth as persons is greater.» — L. Ron Hubbard, HCOPL of 9 May 1965 "Auditing Fees"

Etc.

And about your statement that the Church of Scientology doesn't ask for donations, consider visiting Kristi Wachter's web site:

http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/impact/

Silver Meritorious have donated US $750,000;
Patrons Meritorious have donated US $250,000;
Patrons with Honor have donated US $100,000;
Patrons have donated US $40,000;
Crusaders have donated US $10,000;
Etc.

There is a consistent pattern that members are *pressured* to 'donate', or otherwise buy material or services from the Church of Scientology:
http://www.xenu-directory.net/practices/hardsell.html

You can't in all honesty compare this to other bona fide religions: Scientology's *highest purpose* is to promote and spread Scientology, at the expense of the financial and mental health of its members. The pattern of abuses, lies, misrepresentation, silencing people who stand to expose the wrongs, etc. throughout Scientology's history is a clear indication of that.

[Correction]

Christian churches do not give out bibles? Nice try Scientologydroid. They give out free bibles all the time!

[Anonymous1]

It doesn’t matter if Scientology is a religion or not. It doesn’t matter if they charge for their services or not. What matters is that auditing REALLY DOES change your life. Once you are successfully entranced by the “technology” (i.e. the methods employed by the auditor to draw you into a pliable mental state), your brain will become putty in their hands. Your life will change when you become addicted to the euphoric state that your auditor will manipulate you into in order to artificially create a sense of well-being. In this state, you will eventually come to accept any command you are given by the Church of Scientology – even if the command is to alienate your family. Even if the command is to believe the silly Xenu story. Even if you are told that it is okay to usurp another person’s rights and personal freedoms for the good of promoting the Church of Scientology. Indeed, Scientology will change your life…because they will change it for you.

Scientology has an agenda to do what’s best for Scientology. If you have an agenda to do what’s best for you, then avoid this addictive trap. There are all kinds of support groups out there – people willing to help you through any situation, people with your best interests in mind. Please don’t be lured into the Venus flytrap that is Scientology. The Church of Scientology is not what it appears to be.

[Hubborg]

http://www.studentnewspaper.org/?q=node/385

Here is another article about your cult Wax, why not go over there and piss on it too. The critical comments there are many and strong. There is even a person there offering a challenge to all you cultists. Go there and read it.

[Raymond Hill]

Wax-Q, you are confusing 'challenging a claim' or 'expressing an opposing view' with 'hampering' or 'intolerance'. Nobody is 'hampering' you, I simply *challenged* your claims, and my position is supported by a significant amount of evidences -- which incidentally, the Church of Scientology attempted to censor throughout its history, by mean of harassment, blackmail, gag agreements, etc. And looking closer we find that most of this is policy driven.

Tom Cruise has this same problem of confusing critical perspective with intolerance, as seen in his Der Spiegel interview of April 2005 (among others).

I understand that this confusion between 'critical perspective' and 'intolerance' comes from Scientology's 'suppressive person' doctrine, a central doctrine which purpose is to prevent scientologists from questioning Hubbard's doctrines -- there again demonstrating Scientology self-serving nature.

[J from switzerland]

It looks to me you went in there, had your story ready, just watched to see some aspects that would somehow fit to your story and then you made it look like "research".
There are so many aspects to scientology that you apparently did not even take care to look at, as it would have not fitted your planned story.
Too bad...maybe next time you care to openly talk to people without lies.

[L. Ron Travolta]

Dale,

Do not be concerned with the non believers. They will forever be burdened with a high thetan count and a low level of happiness. Keep the faith and soon you too will have your very own OT3 edition flying saucer signed by Tom Cruise himself.

[Bill]

Wax-Q said: "A stranger can't just walk up to a Christian church door and say, "Hi, can I have a free Bible?""

You can read the entire Bible at http://bible.com/ or follow one of these suggestions: http://christianity.about.com/od/practicaltools/ht/freebible.htm

So in many cases, s/he can. Thank you for adding weight to the argument that Scientology is a money-grubbing institution, even from the very start (ie someone's first introduction to Dianetics).

[Rev. Spaminator]

Embrace your thetans! They are not a burdon, but invisible friends you can always keep around you!

Free Xenu! Hail Eris! Prais "BoB" Dobbs! Cthulhu fhtagn! RAmen! May you be touched by the noodly apendage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

[Too afraid to state my name....]

Thank you so much for your article. I absolutely loved it. The comments are quite interesting as well-especially the ones that are apparently from current $cino's.

After working for $cino's for many years, I felt that it was necessary to add my two cents.

When I first started working there, I had the attitude: well, as long as they don't come after me and try to recruit me, we're going to be ok. To better understand them, I thought that it would be a good idea to do some research online. I was told about www.xenu.net. For anyone even remotely considering joining this so-called "church", I highly recommend that you do your research. This website is invaluable.

So anyway, the more I read the more creeped out I became. I'm all for religion, but the true test is what happens to you when you try to leave. For years the church has tried so hard to "silence" their victims, but with the latest invention called the internet, I'm sure that that is becoming harder and harder to do each day. Story after story is posted online about people that have tried to get out and the extreme measures that they have gone to in order to do so. I really challenge the individuals that are posting on here to try and get out. Try it and then post your comments back on here. I'm sure you will not be singing their praises then.

Also, what's up with their disconnect policy? Do you think that for one second I'm going to join a cult that makes me cut off my entire family only because they're not members? If you think this is ok, then you have some serious problems and not ones that can be solved by Scientology.

Also, have you ever asked yourselves about the members that have been in the church and are "clear". What's next? You get to that "clear" state and then what? Where do you go from there? Apparently out of Scientology because you realize that you've been conned and duped for sooooo many years.

And all of this stuff about reincarnation and past lives. Just do the math. If reincarnation did exist, then how do you account for the billions of people on earth? If someone has to die before another can get their soul....how does it all add up? My point exactly.

How about the church forcing their female member's that get pregnant to abort their babies b/c they would interfere with their job at the church? That pretty much did it for me. If you want to believe in all of that crazy Xenu stuff, then believe it, but a line has to be drawn when they ask you to abort your child.

I could just go on and on, but I think that there is enough info online for anyone to freely read that is not controlled by the church. For all of you current $cinos, I am truly saddened that they have completely brainwashed you into giving up your freedom and life savings. There really is another way to happiness and you don't have to give up both-or anything for that matter.

I saw somewhere on a bumper sticker the following quote-it's how I live my life:

I would rather believe in God and be right, than not believe and be wrong.

I can only pray that someone will read this and research this cult even further before joining, b/c it is one of the most dangerous ones out there. You know the old saying: if it's too good to be true...

[John Fox]

I remember getting the free personality test (with a friend) years ago, back when I was at uni. We were skint for moolah, so we had to bargain the guy down over the price of the Dianetics book.

Eventually he had to go to a superior to ask permission to sell it at that price.

Never did quite finish reading it.

[The Skeptic Al]

Great article, if you had done a little research before you went in you could have hit them with better questions than the Xenu/Space Opera story. Even if you found a member that knew about it they would never have said anything about it any way.
What is most remarkable is that this has been up all day and James Lightfield has not posted a reply yet to tell you how wrong you are in all your observations.

[Roger Gonnet]

Bravo both of you, you've deterrred the money making machine. I was an executive of such a Scientology Fraudulous Profit Center in France, and now, you article shows me a bit more how that money-making machine is more offensive and more eager to get new people in.

Just a detail: when I was there, some 30 steps were enough to get to the highest "level" of scientology, and that costed some $30000.
Now it's some 100 steps and circa $ 400000. For one person.
Exemple: their (fraudulous declared by the FDA) e-meter costed me some 400$; now it's $4600+... while auditing is sold up to $ 1000 for an hour.

[Tony]

Having been a member for many years, I am very versed in their ability to manipulate money out of suckers. One of the interesting things here is that you were not offered alternative form of payment. In our office it was mandatory to identify individuals that would make ideal candidates as worker bees. If the individual in question was a “loaner” and could be brought into the org without having family and friends to interfere with the bad judgment call, he/she was a perfect target. We could feed them and house them, and employee them with payment in the form of free brainwashing. We also offered hourly wages but usually we screwed the employees out of any cash because of the cost of materials and auditing. On payday it was rare to see check for more that $30.00 for a 40 hour week. Give them enough money to purchase necessities but never enough to sustain themselves outside the org. The ultimate hook is in the training, at one point it is revealed that once you begin the journey you cannot stop at risk of death. It was rare for us to have anyone do more than one session. At the end of the month all the sales usually revolved around the pedaling of the books. We would sell hundreds of the books, if you wondered into our store, be prepared to shell out the cash for the book.

If we had a sucker, we would transition the bees that had been buying products to the training rooms, when the sucker was escorted down the hall for his first session the rooms would appear bubbling with activity. I cannot tell you how many times I played the role of an interested patron, spending money and sitting thru the first video.
We also offered kick-backs to selling the higher priced items, again however the money never made it into the employee’s pocket.

Something else that we regularly practiced was providing loaned cash to our worker bees and having them spend it in the store. We would at time have as many as 5 bees in the store buying items ranging from $9.00 to over $150.00. They would come and go from the store and simply go down the street, walk up the alley and come in the back of the store and drop the items off, rinse and repeat. The store always appeared busy and people walking down the street are attracted like crazy. They want to know what is going on and it is less intimidating to walk into a busy place. If you see an empty store and your skeptical of entering, your less likely to enter, an empty store would have all its attention focused on you, a busy store offers you some anonymity.

So in the article above it is no surprises that the store appeared busy, people opening their wallets and letting the cash fly. It was already their money and product.

Having been away from them for many months now, I cannot reveal more information without the risk of someone identifying me. I can assure everyone that what has been posted here by the critics up to my posting this has been accurate. They are loosing their footing everyday, with offices being closed down and evicted for failure to pay the bills. It was very common to see the offices trying to bail each other out each month after month. Never did I see money come from above, it was a one way street. Any money we had above operating cost was sent up the ladder.

I often see people trying to reason with the members of the org telling them to get out now. Unfortunately the folks you’re dealing with are not the brainwashed drones. These folks are actually paid to discredit the skeptics and make the org shine in a bright light. No point in trying to save them, they are doing their job. The brainwashed drones only have access to web sites that have been approved by the org.

What I have shared here is the deception that takes place at the very foundation; just imagine what goes on further up….

[Tony]

Wax-Q,

What is your OT level?

hummm... All I had to do was click your name all is revealed... you have lost all credibility as being unbiased. You’re on the payroll pall.

Click his name folks… I also searched on his name in Google. All he does is search the internet and post PRO-SCIENTOLOGY propaganda.

Decide for yourself folks, the following link is the results of my search… Pick any of them… He works for them.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22wax-q%22+%22scientology%22

[Bradley Huddleston]

"Something to keep in mind, however, is that Christian Churches don't give away Bibles either. A stranger can't just walk up to a Christian church door and say, "Hi, can I have a free Bible?"

-----> This is something that is completely and utterly asinine. This person aparently has never actually gone to a 'Christian Church' and asked for a bible. If you cannot afford a bible then you will most certainly be able to receive one for free. It may not be a calf-skinned bound NASB or ESV Study Bible but it will be The Bible (FOR FREE). The Good Lord does not charge his Children to 'be cleansed'. LOL. I laughed throughout this entire article. Only the truly 'enlightened' and 'intelligent' would ever be ignorant enough to fall for such a scheme.

Scientology is a baseless joke for ignorant people...

[Editor]

We're going to take a rest from comments for a couple days on this post for things to settle down, so we can talk about the article and not about... well, whatever we were talking about. Glad you enjoyed the article.