The Corral: News Roundup From The Editors

Crazy In Lust

The closest I came to sex during the first half of my life was the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which arrived without much fanfare on my doorstep Tuesday. This year's cover girl is Beyoncé, as the issue tries to Maxim its way back to relevance, and features a 3D spread, but I flipped through the issue once and unlike those early 90's Kathy Ireland lovefests, nothing really stuck.

I remember vividly the day my life changed as a 15-year-old boy, when my best friend found a heaping stack of Playboy magazines in his dad's desk drawer. Viewings were scheduled by appointment, and a lucky few got to make off with copies of their own. Suddenly the girls were naked, and everything behind the bikinis was right in front of our eyes. It was a wonderful time. As a Playboy subscriber, I still like the magazine, but for varied reasons: the long-form interviews are wonderful, the political coverage is well-balanced (because of the core constituency of "all straight men," which cuts across party lines), and, yes, the photos of naked women. However, these are boring most of the time, as about 75 percent of those photographed are 20-year-old bleach-blonde, fake breasted, well, uh, "manicured" women who are completely indistinguishable from one another. As such, I don't find them sexy at all, though age 16, they would have been cause for celebration. At least to start. But occasionally there will be a spread, like that of actress Tricia Helfer last month (from TV's Battlestar Galactica, I'm told), that is uniquely erotic. She outclasses the college girls with their "help me" eyes and halogen-bright grins without even getting completely naked, because she's a woman, not a girl, and that's sexy. It's not about the skin: it's about the skin and the eyes and the clothes (the few of them) and everything else. You can't fake real sexiness, and when Playboy finds it, it still knows what to do.--BRYAN JOINER

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2007

You're making us into sex queens

Far be it from me to dictate who should be having sex. If it is consensual, legal, and puts no one's health in jeopardy, then I shall not judge. So, when I read this week's article about sex ed. for the octogenarian set, I had to say, "Why not?" If you are young and lonely this week, never fear. Old folks are copulating more than ever these day s thanks to Viagra and a decrease in women's feeling shame regarding their sexuality. Who knows what it will be like when those twenty-somethings grow to be seventy-somethings? You have your whole sex life ahead of you!

Though the piece might prove a little graphic for those of you who tend not to think about senior citizens copulating, just try to repress a smile when the sex educator's description of a homemade dental dam of Saran Wrap elicits an "Enough already!" from an old woman in the audience.--CAT SPENCER

NYT: Greatest Generation Learns About Great Safe Sex

No More Barnyard Valentines

On the whole, legislating sex sounds like a bad idea, but legal developments in Indiana this week may change your mind. To be crude (in more ways than one): quit stickin' the chickens. In response to sex-crazed poultrycide during which a Michael Bessigano, 36, stole a chicken, took it to a motel and murdered it during fornication, the Indiana legislature unanimously approved a bill that outlaws sexual relations with animals. Beastiality will cost you a $5,000 fine, and the crime becomes a felony if the animal is injured or killed.

According to news reports, a state legislator said, "I think our constituents would be surprised to learn that bestiality is not a crime in state code."

Ever so slowly, as a community we're inching toward civility.--ANDREW BAST

NWI: Panel votes to outlaw sex with animals

Hard Pill to Swallow

Earlier in the week, Great Britain announced that it would allow over the counter sales of every middle-aged wife's least favorite pill, Viagra. This was followed by news that Pfizer, the drug's maker, "has admitted for the first time" that it will seek FDA approval to sell the drug over the counter in America. This has AIDS activists up in arms, and understandably so. If you can buy Viagra in the same place and with the same impunity that you buy a tall boy of MGD, it doesn't bode well for curbing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Whether Pfizer, which has already been accused of marketing the recreational use of the drug, will get the approval it seeks remains to be seen. Although you won't be able to buy hard drugs over the counter in New York anytime soon, perhaps in the near future, you might be able to buy drugs that'll make you hard.--MIKAEL AWAKE

UPI: AIDS group moves to stop Viagra OTC sales